TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
I believe you treat people the way you want to be treated.
I got pregnant, quit school and got married and was only sixteen. I can remember thinking my marriage vows til death do us part could come true! I was a victim of domestic violence. Sometimes I would wish I was dead because I could not see me getting out of this marriage any other way. I got strong for my children. My husband was killing our children and me emotionally. (I got a divorce)
I figured God did not love me because I broke his rules. Life was hard and sad.
I met my second husband. He is a minister’s son and he believes in God. He showed me a love I never experienced before.
We started going to church and for the first time I heard God talk to me from the pulpit. I learned of a loving and forgiving God. This God was not the God I grew up with. My parents were upset with me when I changed my religion. I remember telling my parents, “There is only one God.”
The members of our church were asked to study and write a letter on the homosexuality issue facing the church. I was at this time on the church board of elders. . I had most of these people on pedestals as holier than me because they knew the bible better then me.
At our first meeting we all had a chance to talk. I remember being scared because this subject was too close to home. I have a gay child and no one at the church knew.
One member said, “Why do we have to talk about this?” Then another member said, “When I was in the service we would call homosexuals names and proceeded to blur them out. He said, Queer, Faggot and laugh.”
Then it was my turn. I remember starting out saying, “I have a gay child.” The room got silent. Then an older lady sitting across from me said, “I too have a gay child.”
I wrote the church. My son told me he wanted to kill himself because he didn’t want to be gay. I don’t believe it’s a choice for him! He told me, “if only I was straight I could be with someone. I would be happy.” I cried. (I remember when life was hard and sad. I remember I just wanting to be loved.) I told him being straight doesn’t make life easy. You have sisters that are going through the same things you are. You just haven’t met the right person.
I don’t believe God put my son or any one else on this earth to be persecuted. I just can’t prove it.
My church decision on this issue is the Bill Clinton approach, don’t ask don’t tell.
I believe God wants us all to treat people in a loving way, even if we are all different. My God loves everyone!
Bonnie Patton
March 17th, 2008 at 6:28 am
Dear Bonnie,
Thanks for caring and for sharing with us your touching, inspiring, and “right-on” essay! Your son (and daughters) should be proud to have you as their Mom and friend.
Best regards,
Michael Thomas Masters
Bettendorf, Iowa
March 17th, 2008 at 7:30 am
Dear Bonnie,
Hello, again!
Films and writing stories and articles are my creative loves.
Therefore, I would like to highly recommend to you a few gay theme documentary films that might be of interest to you, to your son, as well as to your friends and family members (as well as to other readers of this message), if you (or they) have not yet already viewed them.
However, all four films discussed below are worth viewing more then once.
The recommended films are:
FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO (2007) An insightful, thought provoking, and well-produced film dealing with gays (and some of their families) in regards to religion and the many organized “main-stream” churches nationwide.
NOTE: Maybe FOR THE BIBLE… would provide a great viewing and discussion meeting for your church.
ALL ABOARD! ROSIE’S FAMILY CRUISE (2006) A touching, memorable, and essential close-up view of gay, lesbian, and transgender families that sail along with Rosie O’Donnell and her wife, Kelly, and their three children, on a family cruise ship.
FREEHELD (2007) A powerful look at our present day justice and insurance system as a dying long-time New Jersey lesbian police officer struggles to transfer her pension to her surviving female partner of many years.
THE TIMES OF HARVEY MILK (1984) A ground-breaking, informative, moving, and excellent documentary feature about the first openly gay elected official in the United States, San Francisco Board of Supervisor and gay/human rights activist, Harvey Milk, who was tragically assassinated (along with Mayor George Moscone) in late November of 1978. I had the honor and good fortune, as a young college student in SF, in talking with (and getting to know) Harvey Milk during the last several months of his life at chance meetings.
These are just a few of the many superior, well-crafted, and worth-viewing gay theme documentaries that are currently available. Many are at public libraries.
In fact, there are many more very fine documentaries available, as well as gay theme fictional films, both domestic as well as foreign titles.
Happy viewing to you and to yours!
Michael Thomas Masters
Bettendorf, Iowa
March 21st, 2008 at 5:59 am
Bonnie- Thank you for contributing your heartfelt essay. It was a pleasure to meet you in the workshop. Your love of life, of writing, and of your people is contagious. Keep sharing yourself with others.
March 21st, 2008 at 6:00 am
Bonnie- Thank you for contributing your heartfelt essay. It was a pleasure to meet you in the workshop. Your love of life, of writing, and of people is contagious. Keep sharing yourself with others.