THE LITTLE THINGS
When I was pregnant with my first child, I heard over and over again about the overwhelming wave of love I would feel the first time I held him in my arms. Several weeks after his birth, I was privately feeling that I was a horrible mother; I hadn’t felt that crashing wave.
During a middle-of-the-night feeding, I had a revelation. It was four in the morning, I was awake and I didn’t care. It didn’t matter that, never having been anything approaching a morning person, I was seeing four in the morning from what I considered to be the wrong side. I was happy to do it and I realized, right then, standing in my kitchen, testing a bottle on my wrist - this is the crashing wave. My love for my children won’t be played out in great actions or momentous occasions; it will show itself in the little things. And so it has. Never mind that I have to change poopy diapers, wipe snotty noses, suffer dirty handprints on my new suede jacket. These are all little things that I do as a mom that add up to a big love.
Relatives from across town and across the country came to visit us for my son’s baptism. I love baptisms; they are the embodiment of hope and joy to me. Yet my best memory of that event was the day before the baptism, when four generations of my family spent the day at the park, playing, eating, napping. I remember thinking to myself, “You will look back on this day as a good day in your life.” And I do. The little thing of family coming together to welcome a new member is one more building block that makes our family strong.
Recently, I came to work and found a gift from a colleague on my desk: a case of pop. Nothing elaborate, just something that she thought would let me know she appreciates the work I’ve been doing. Another friend, who lives far away, sends “just because” cards and silly presents. They make me smile and remind me that little things, like a kind word or a pop, can add up and build a friendship that can withstand the vagaries of distance, stress, and busy schedules. In short: life.
The measure of my life, and, I think, most people’s lives, will not be in momentous occasions. I believe that the measure of my life will be determined by the accumulation of the little things I do: the hugs and kisses for my children, the joys I share with family, the kind words I give to others. And I believe that those little things can add up to make a big difference in the lives of the people and the world around me.
Maria Levetzow
