One Book, One Bettendorf

I know people who celebrate life every day, with their “joie de vivre”, their acts of kindness, the gifts they make for friends just to say “thinking of you”; they seem to be saying, “life is good, join in the fun and be happy!”

I wish I could emulate them, but I am instead a shy person, so that it is a constant struggle for me to be more outgoing.  This can get me in lots of trouble, because I either end up saying the wrong thing, or worse, nothing, which leads people to think I am indifferent.

As if shyness weren’t enough, I was also taught to be frugal and circumspect, and these traits tend to discourage spontaneous behavior.  So now I am not only indifferent, but also selfish and ill-humored.  What a lot of baggage!  How ever shall I deal with this?

With one step at a time, I guess.  I have begun sending funny cards to friends to say “hello”; I try to be more “vive-y” when I’m around people.  I copy jokes down to repeat at gatherings, and drink coffee to be more talkative.  And, perhaps most importantly, I’m getting better at remembering dates and returning calls.

But I always know my limitations.  I can, and always will, be only myself, be that sad or happy, spendthrift or thrifty, I do my best every day to keep myself together and make other people happy in-between.  And though I sometimes curse the non-bubbly genes I was given, I believe that I try hard to celebrate each day and the friendships that endure, even when I don’t always remember to bake a cake or return a call.

I believe in the celebration of life, if only (and especially) when being around those who are better at it than I am.

Mary Jane Stibolt

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 8th, 2008 at 8:39 am and is filed under Bettendorf. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.