I got pregnant, quit school and got married and was only sixteen. I can remember thinking my marriage vows til death do us part could come true! I was a victim of domestic violence. Sometimes I would wish I was dead because I could not see me getting out of this marriage any other way. I got strong for my children. My husband was killing our children and me emotionally. (I got a divorce)

I figured God did not love me because I broke his rules. Life was hard and sad.

I met my second husband. He is a minister’s son and he believes in God. He showed me a love I never experienced before.

We started going to church and for the first time I heard God talk to me from the pulpit. I learned of a loving and forgiving God. This God was not the God I grew up with. My parents were upset with me when I changed my religion. I remember telling my parents, “There is only one God.”

The members of our church were asked to study and write a letter on the homosexuality issue facing the church. I was at this time on the church board of elders. . I had most of these people on pedestals as holier than me because they knew the bible better then me.

At our first meeting we all had a chance to talk. I remember being scared because this subject was too close to home. I have a gay child and no one at the church knew.

One member said, “Why do we have to talk about this?” Then another member said, “When I was in the service we would call homosexuals names and proceeded to blur them out. He said, Queer, Faggot and laugh.”

Then it was my turn. I remember starting out saying, “I have a gay child.” The room got silent. Then an older lady sitting across from me said, “I too have a gay child.”

I wrote the church. My son told me he wanted to kill himself because he didn’t want to be gay. I don’t believe it’s a choice for him! He told me, “if only I was straight I could be with someone. I would be happy.” I cried. (I remember when life was hard and sad. I remember I just wanting to be loved.) I told him being straight doesn’t make life easy. You have sisters that are going through the same things you are. You just haven’t met the right person.

I don’t believe God put my son or any one else on this earth to be persecuted. I just can’t prove it.

My church decision on this issue is the Bill Clinton approach, don’t ask don’t tell.

I believe God wants us all to treat people in a loving way, even if we are all different. My God loves everyone!

Bonnie Patton